Rantings of a Single Mom

The joys, fears and most importantly - Rants of a single mother!

My rantings

I'm getting married tomorrow

Posted on October 1, 2010 at 11:36 AM Comments comments (1)
We picked up our marriage license. It was all very quick & painless. Fill out this 1/2 sheet of paper. I'm going to read back what you wrote. I'm going to make a big deal out of characters that aren't perfectly written. I'm going to seat you at the sticky table and come back 7 minutes later with all the same info you just completed -- printed on a green sheet of paper. I'm then going to copy said green sheet, twice, and have you both sign. Bam. Its done. But someone needs to tell me what the $60 is FOR?!? In MN its like a buck 25 and I can't figure out why it costs $125 to get married...I digress. We're getting married!!!!!!!!!!!! In front of our family & friends; we make all sorts of warm & gooey promises to each other. Plus, we get to kiss AND eat cake! This rocks!!

Posting everyday is near impossible

Posted on September 14, 2010 at 11:51 PM Comments comments (2)

My dress is friggin amazing and it's beautiful and I love it and it makes me very happy and bright and glowy and I can't wait to put it on with my veil and shoes and walk down the aisle and marry my sweetheart.

Random movie quotes that keep popping in my head:

"What Seth, you think you're cool with your little Jew fro?" 40 Year Old Virgin

"Somebody wrote in that book that I'm lying about being a virgin because I use super jumbo tampons... but I can't help it if I've got a heavy flow and a wide set vagina..." Mean Girls

"Remember, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Except for Herpes. That shit'll come back with you." The Hangover

I'm going to bed now...

<Insert clever title>

Posted on September 12, 2010 at 10:29 PM Comments comments (2)

What does one do when they are getting married in just under 20 days!?!? 

They fantasize about married life with their honey. They imagine themselves staring at their doubled-up ring all the time. --ok, not all the time because they are going to be really good and focused on school but...you get the idea. 


Has anyone noticed that Martha Stewart is making 10 times more cash than she did before the insider trading debacle?


Yesterday I had a oddly tough time watching the September 11th program thing. I came in from seeing Toy Story 3 and as soon as I looked at the tv I literally (really) got weak in the knees. I instantly flashed back to that morning. I pulled into the parking lot at work listening to the radio reports that there had been a plane crash in NY. Thoughts were along the lines of, "Wow, that's messed up." and "I mean, the towers are tall, but how in the hell does a plane run into one?!" I went inside and everyone was in the break room watching the news. And then...THEN, I watched the television, wide-eyed, as the other plane crashed into the tower. I was afraid. I knew there was no way there were TWO accidental plane crashes, 20 minutes apart. And when the towers collapsed, oh my goodness. That was a terrifying moment. I (of course) worked like 10 minutes away from home. The kids were home with their dad and I wanted nothing more but to go home and hug my babies. Watching yesterday evoked similar emotion. It's hard to believe it's been 9 years. And I remind myself that God's plan (no matter whether we understand it or not) is always perfect.


I inadvertently bought fat-free coffee creamer last time. I came to the realization today after having some issues. My body doesn't like fake sugar. Weird things happen to me and it's not comfortable at all. I refuse to eat aspartame and sucralose especially. I wish I could escape high fructose corn syrup but that seems near impossible without quadrupling our grocery bill by going organic. I promise, as a chemical engineer, that I will not engineer some odd, likely toxic chemical to help some company make oogads of money while concurrently wrecking the general population in some way. 

Growing up is hard to do

Posted on August 19, 2010 at 10:48 AM Comments comments (0)

So, everyone in the free world is probably acutely aware of the fact that Shakese begins junior high this fall. Yes, theoretically, I knew this day would come. But...

I remember going to Curtis elem. and having them talk to my parents about how "bright" I was. I remember them oohing and ahhing over my Iowa test scores (hahaha! remember the Iowa tests?!?). I remember starting junior high. I remember the awkwardness of it all. Being the little fish in the big pond. Being majorly exposed to girls and their evil, catty ways (why, WHY?!?!? and WHERE?!?!? do girls learn this behavior?!). 

So, apparently, to begin 7th grade you need a tetanus booster. They kept saying chickenpox too but I am always on top of doctor/dentist appts for us and couldn't believe she wasn't up to date. Well, she was, I just hadn't updated the school (SO?!). Because she's also, err, officially 'in transition' to womanhood (this saves the almost-dad any stress; I think), they wanted to check iron levels too. Cue the finger poke. O.M.G. I was cringing. I hate shots. I hate needles with a burning passion. And, the chick didn't even coax her into it! I don't know if it's because Shakese was bigger than she was or what, but she just grabbed her damn finger and BAM! Shakese looked like she'd gotten shot! Poor baby. And I know that the tetanus shots hurt like a mofo too so I held her hand and tried to get her to stop looking at the lady; but still she cried. And once again, she was like 8 months old. She really is just a baby. Never mind that she's 65 1/2 inches tall (WTF?). 

Oh wait, she is in the 97th percentile for height and the 50th for weight. And get this........the 25th for BMI! LOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!

I picked up her school schedule (SCHEDULE!). They have this retarded set up of A/B days. And it rotates each week. So one week M, W, F are 'A' days and the next week M, W, F are 'B' days. Foolishness. This first quarter she has:

1st period: French (A); Pre-algebra (B)


2nd period: English (A); Social Studies (B)

3rd period: Study (A); Cadet band (B)

4th period: Family & Consumer Science (A); Science (B)

Yesterday she had WEB (we all belong) day where she got hooked up with a 9th grade buddy who showed her around. She was able to meet the kids that will be in Homebase with her (she knows like half of them).  

Soon, the day will come when I'll be dropping her off to college; It's not too far off...


We mailed out like 60 invites for a total of about 150 people. After having to explain to several people that their "1" means just them; not an additional guest. And that no, they can't invite Cousin Fill-in-the-Blank. And that no, we don't know who else is driving...My cousin invited his mother (related to my father via marriage and who I have NO relationship with); but I decided not to fuss because their 2 oldest kids will be away at college so we're still -1 for their family. My aunt invited her daughter and 3 grandkids which I haven't said anything yet because that came through the grapevine; I will be calling her tonight. My uncle sent back a blank reply card but wrote his phone number on it. :-) And a friend who is getting married in September (!) didn't reply yet chided me yesterday about not returning my card yet to their wedding (!). Their rsvp date is like Sept 1. I was purposely holding it to see if they would rsvp on time for mine! That's wrong, I know :-O


We have 63 confirmed guests (+ our family of 6). This makes me pretty happy. There are maybe 8-10 that are almost certain to be "yes's". We wanted under 75 and I was secretly hoping for closer to 50-55. We've contacted some people twice with not response either way, so we added to them to the not attending list. We still plan on sending our "Sorry you can't make it!" email next week. We have to place our food order by September 1st dammit!

Shakese was sooooo excited to see all of the random craft related tools I've acquired this summer. We have one project done and a couple more underway. Plus she's all about folding the cootie catchers :)

Bridal extravanganzaaaaa was this past weekend and it was A-W-E-S-O-M-E!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have good people. Some people have no people, or sucky people. And I, *ME*, I have amazing people!!!!!

Spontaneous Combustion

Posted on August 9, 2010 at 10:09 PM Comments comments (1)

Don't ask...ok...from the first time I learned the term & what it meant, I was fascinated. 

Anyway, I've spontaneously cried like 7 times. I hate estrogen. Eve is a witch. There's no good reason for a somewhat reasonable woman to become a retarded mound of mangled emotions nearly EVERY 28 days. Stupid as hell.


I've come up with several fun (at least to me), cute (at least to me), ideas for the wedding. And most for the cost of paper & ink. Ok, so ink isn't cheap, but still. When I started the wedding planning, it was a shock to find out the prices people pay for things. So then it came to be all about the craftiness of it all. Its not "oh, I *have* to do that" its "oh, that's going to be FUN to make!" :) I love being creative and it's one of the things that has been severely stifled since I've been a mom. Hey, I'm not blaming the kids, just that what you WANT to do and what you NEED to do really don't add up MOST of the time (which is probably true of adulthood period)...

And I like having fun! I don't have a stuffy bone in my body & there's no way I could pull of a formal wedding ;-) I'm excited!


I've been meaning to blog about all the celebs that I dislike. Leading the list, through no fault of her own, is Zoe Saldana. I liked her when she first debuted. I don't think she's a bad actress (though she's starting to become Jen Aniston). But I'm so annoyed that she's the IT "black actress". Her ass isn't black! I love my latino/a peoples but maaaaan. She's gotten a ton of roles cast for a black woman. May we please put a black woman in SOME of these roles?!??

Jen Aniston? Please. Stop. If I see one more whiny-ass date movie starring her, I'm going to slit my wrists. Gabrielle Union - ugh.

Jennifer Love Hewitt has a big ass forhead and is generally irritating.

Tom Cruise dude, you're a leprechaun.

Ben Affleck, I will jump off a bridge before I watch a movie with him in it.

I know there are many more but that's it...for now...

EEEEK! It's August!

Posted on August 6, 2010 at 7:39 PM Comments comments (2)

Sooooo, my summer program is almost done. This bittersweet.

1) I'm lazy now. I haven't worked a 40 hour week in over 2 years.

2) It's been a really positive experience overall.

Today I had my exit meeting with the program director. After talking and him (again) mentioning how BIG of a deal it was the way Tim talks about me, I mentioned that I'd applied for the REU program at U of I a couple of years ago but didn't make it in because of a lack of research experience. Well, he informed me that he has a relationship with the head of every MRSEC program in the country and told me to let him know where I want to go next summer.

REU (Research Experience for Undergraduates) - program at almost every institution involved in some kind of research; not science specific.

MRSEC (Materials Research, Science, & Engineering Centers) - Science specific and housed within about 30 colleges or so across the nation, including MIT, Yale, Harvard, Princeton, Cornell, Columbia... YOWZERS!!!

"Come and see me and let me know where you want to go". Connections. That's what it's about and I'm forming them left and right.

Then I met with Tim to present. He only had minor changes he wanted me to make and enthusiastically informed me that the group would attend my presentation on Tuesday. Yay me! LOL! :)

Shakese's school keeps sending stuff here and emailing me and stuff reminding me that 1) she's totally going to Jr High and 2) I'm going to be spending a lot of cash. I miss those hooligan kids! The longest I've been away from them before this summer was 2 weeks. It has definitely been an experience. For them because for a chunk of the summer there were 10 kids in the house including them. Stress cases. For me because as much as I try to maintain "Kisha", so much of my identity is wrapped up them. It's crazy. But they'll be home next week and ready to start school in 2 weeks. Which gives me a week of freeeeedom! Oh, and Kese gets out of school like an hour sooner than MJ. WTH? Sheesh.

I am preparing to go into uber beast mode this semester. I have to. With a better gpa, and all my summer research, and glowing letters of recommendation; I should be a shoe-in for someone's program!

The ladies were in town and we had the most awesomest 2 days ever!

We have all sorts of stuff that now require a wedding. We have to have a wedding!!! We have to I say! We are still very much within the original budget. We have like 35 confirmed guests (of like 145 or so), and I'm so excited to be able to harass people a) at the bridal shower and b) on August 16th.

DUDE!?!?!!!!!!! Are you friggin coming or not?!?!??????

My adventures in wedding planning

Posted on July 19, 2010 at 5:46 PM Comments comments (5)

Today I came up with a big ass list of things that need to be completed by October 2nd. In my head there were like 12 things; on paper there are like 72 things. And even though my handsome fiancé enjoys making biiiiig fun of me, I really need to knock some of this stuff off the list. A lot is weighed towards the end. A lot depends on how many people are there and who those people are. Other things are less vital but can be done and put away, so why not take care of them?? Plus, I'll be less free come September 7th. I have to find a way to stay focused on everything. My class schedule is pretty tight this fall & I can't afford to screw up. I'm on probation from Spring. My plan worked 1/2 as well as I wanted. I got 2 B's but I bombed the other two classes. There's NO room for that. My financial aid package sucks ass & I'll probably be on the hook for some tuition this year :( I need to get some scholarships man!

So anyway, back to wedding planning. Flowers. I've looked at tons of silks and none really make me happy. Except this hydrangeas I bought for decorating the head table. They're really pretty & don't look fake, especially in a vase. But otherwise its going to be real flowers for the bouquet, bouttonnieres (sp?), corsages, etc. I am HOPING that farmers market is still happening around that time in Asheville (I need to make some calls). Plan B calls for a Sam's or Costco membership. One of them has a nice array of white flowers for like $90. I don't really want to spend $90 but I mean...we'll see. And, I've heard that Super Wal-Mart has a nice floral section as well. I've practiced making bouttonneires (I swear that's wrong AND I don't know how to say it...) twice using silks and I think I'm good enough to do them myself. I'll practice corsages for the girls as well. Maybe make a pretty flower pin they can wear in their hair...but I'd better not go too overboard on the girly with Kese. Makayla will suck it up. Flowers. Tiaras. Sparkly. She'd love it ALL :)


a messageboard I stalk - I mean follow - has great tips and ideas and how-to's. But there's also rampant foolishness. Like the woman who said their stationery costs $2K total. Excuse me, but, TWO mother-effin THOUSAND US DOLLARS on paper?!?? WTF? I sure hope they're having 2000 guests or something...

Hmmm, and then there's the lady that is doubting if this guy is a good photog because he *only* charges $500 for wedding coverage. Assholes and their belief that higher cost = higher value...screwing everything up.

Oh, another good one, a lady posted concerned that their venue isn't going to look expensive enough. She wants people to lament that the venue *looks* expensive. Oh, after she got blasted she changed it to "it costs a lot and they just want their moneys worth" but we know the truth... And a clincher, the bride who's afraid that her overweight sis-in-law, who is a bridesmaid, is going to "mess up" her pictures. I wanted to find her and stick a pencil in her eye... Yeah. The Groom thinks I'm going to have a bridezilla moment at some point. I doubt it. But, until then we'll have fun with the teasing :)

Respondez s'il vous plait

Posted on July 13, 2010 at 10:08 AM Comments comments (5)

Respond if you please...Please respond...Tell me whether or not you are coming!!!!!

I have a couple of wedding related sites that I stalk. Martha Stewart has awesome tips :-p But, when I saw the many complaints surrounding rsvp's, I couldn't believe it. I couldn't be convinced that something so simple as "yes or no" could get so complicated.

Let me backtrack a bit. I understand that people have to check schedules, account for kids, or a spouse unable to travel, or pets, etc. I understand that the wedding isn't the center of the guests' life; however (you saw that coming), people don't usually request a response by, like tomorrow. Usually it's weeks out. Presumably, if you're invited, you're aware of things even before you receive an invite (not always but sometimes). And then, some of these brides & grooms even CALL people after the rsvp date has come & gone to ask if they're coming! And some still don't give a straight answer or never respond! And some people actually show up without ever having responded! What?!?

This will not be a good look for anyone on October 2nd. Really. No rsvp, no go. We've had someone respond via my mom (never mind the self-addressed stamped envelope we included -- I want my $.44 back). She also invited a guest with her. Errr, no. Someone else wants to bring their boyfriend who wasn't invited. Others are confused by the "click on the link" part :( 

***Mama is excused. LOL!!!! Today she sent a 4 sentence email instead of responding online. Friggin hilarious! And still others have responded online without incident or mailed their response card back. This will be an interesting month.

In other news, I'm really looking forward to taco's later (is that wrong considering its 9 am?). And to seeing A Streetcar Named Desire tomorrow at the Guthrie! Wooohoooo!!!!

Too many feelings

Posted on July 5, 2010 at 11:29 PM Comments comments (2)

Its hard to believe 4 days passed since that last post. Sheesh. Saturday was wedding shopping extravaganza. Well, so was Sunday & Monday. Saturday we left home at 10 am and returned around 9 pm. Today we left at 9 am and came back at like 2 pm. I've been to JoAnn's like 4 times and to Michael's like 9 times. We went to Men's Warehouse twice. We got dresses for the girls (at a really good price (final sale) BUT I screwed up and picked up the wrong size which, hopefully the alterations lady is a beast and can make them fit. We got his wedding band. Stationery for the programs. 7413 yards of ribbon. All sorts of stuff. And I FINALLY got the invites done. They're going out tomorrow.


Other stuff...Last night, my friend lost her 16 year old son to a random shooting. There was a crowd of kids gathered shooting off fireworks. A car did a random drive by and he got shot in the chest. 16. A great kid. No gangs, drugs, foolishness. And he's dead. I don't understand how a mom is supposed to hold a funeral for her little boy. I don't know how a mom us supposed to go into her son's room and know he's never coming back. I really don't know how the hell you cope. What happens on future 4th of July's? That's going to be a tough funeral for me. I've only been to 2 funerals of people close enough to me for me to feel pain. I'm kind of scared. I have a lot of feelings right now and I'm not accustomed to feeling this way. :-/

What sort of person calls themself a blogger...

Posted on July 1, 2010 at 11:11 PM Comments comments (1)

And allows nearly a month to go by without doing so?! I can't believe it's been that long! There's too much stuff to go through at this point...so hilights - letsgo!

  • I love the kids. All of em. They are smart and personable and good kids. However, Xcel Energy sent this bill in the mail for $116.04. I can't understand why I would ever pay Xcel Energy $116.04. The prior two months it was around $40. Damn kids.
  • I have my wedding gown!!! WOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! I didn't try it on because I've only lost like 3lbs but it's also 'that time' and I really gain like 5 or 6 lbs of water weight and so uhmm, yeah. I didn't want to be depressed. I'm not touching the thing until I a) by my undergarment. Hopefully a comfy long-line bra/bustier/corset thing and b) until after I'm past the uber bloated stage. It's friggin gorgeous!
  • Something strange happened with my BOA debit card today. I am usually very dilligent about using my card, etc because I've been hacked before. The only places I've used the thing recently was placing orders on Etsy.com and USPS.com (USPS has cool wedding stamps - because of course our invite is like 1.4 oz or something and needs additional postage. They have wedding bands for the $.44 stamp but the $.17 stamp is a ram. A blue ram. WTF?). Where was I? Oh. So, then I get a call from a random number in Syracuse, NY saying there's "suspicious" activity on my account. I call BOA and all seemed well until he asked me for my full check card number. Not terrible, but if I just gave you my checking account number, why do you need the bankcard number? When I wouldn't provide that he committed the ultimate sin; he asked for my SSN. The only place I give my full SSN to over the phone is the IRS. I hung up on him and then received a text message telling me to call another random number right away. All ended well, but it was kinda freaky.
  • We love our kids; I'm for real, we do. But they had to go. Really, they did. We left Mpls at 3:45 p.m. on Friday and after driving one million miles with stops in Chicago and KY, we arrived in Charlotte on Saturday at about 3:30 p.m. (central) - 24 hour trip. We left Charlotte at about 12:15 p.m. (central) and after driving one million more miles with stops in Candler (near Asheville) and Lake Junaluska, we arrived home at about 10:00 a.m. Sunday. That was an ignorant ass trip. But it served its purpose.
  • Speaking of...we ordered our wedding cake! I love the southern (nice) people. Waynette of 'Sweet Promises' bakery is making us a yummy delicious cake. Mike was on it with THAT appointment! LOL!!!! I like cake. I'm convinced we should go on cake tastings every other week. YUM! Her prices were extremely reasonable (very competitive), the cake was insanely tasty, the only hang up is that by the time I contacted her she had a cake scheduled that day. So she can't deliver. But we're working that out.


  • We went by Lake Junaluska!! :drool: It really is a beautiful site. They do have some issues with certain places being stuck in 1960. They need some upgrades. But The Colonnade is gawjusss!!! Oh, wait! They have tricky photog!! That's why I knew we had to get down there! Down by the lake is amazing. However they don't make it easy to see that facing the Colonnade...right where they took the pic...is the road! That's going to blow if there's a lot of street traffic. 
  • This weekend we've got a lot of stuff to get done. And (very exciting!!) we're going to try to find Mike's band. I'm so excited! And I've totally been good about not trying mine on!
  • The Dollar Tree rocks! I want to try to make the butonnaire (how in the hell do you pronounce that?!/ Shakese!!!!!!!). I'm going to practice on some bootleg silks. But they had the floral tape and wire. The tape was $1 at WM but the wire was $2 so we done good. I got some simple cylinder vases as the begining of centerpieces. And 8 yds of 6" wide tulle! For a dollar!! At JoAnn, the 6" (really it was 5.75" I think) but it was $5.99 and was 25 yds. So we got 24 yds for 3 bucks! I like that!! I have my eye set on a specific ribbon and WM didn't have it. I'm going to price compare JoAnn and Michael's. Plus I just got a 15% off everything at Michaels! wooohooo! I think I'll use my off day on Monday to be crafty.
  • I'm thinking about programs (shhhh don't tell my handsome groom!). I have an idea and I really think we can do them for under $15 plus ink. I have to price it and then present my case :)
  • Hmmm...I love my almost husband. A very lot. :-D

MY BIRTHDAY IS IN 5 DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!