Rantings of a Single Mom

The joys, fears and most importantly - Rants of a single mother!

My rantings

I am very sleepy

Posted on September 14, 2010 at 12:08 AM Comments comments (2)

Today I had class until 4:30. Got to the park & ride at a little after 5. Mike and the kids picked me up after attending Shakese's parent meeting for tennis. We headed to Wayzata for MJ's game. They lost terribly - first time they've been shut out in the 3 years they've played. Wayzata's players are all on steroids and MJ made a helluva block early on; but he got hurt and checked out. He missed some really good tackles and got scored on twice because of it. Then home to do homework.

Tomorrow I have class until 2:15 and then Shakese has a tennis match at 3:15 and then MJ has football practice at 6 and then I have to be in Woodbury (40 minutes away) for my dress fitting at 7:30. 

Did I mention that I am sleepy?

And, I hate my calc prof. He doesn't lecture about anything. He's so random. But, there are only 2 lectures this semester and I can't take the other one because of my Bio lab. And I hate bio. I thought talking about sex would make it palatable (LOL!) but it doesn't. It's still biology and biology is stupid. Well, not all of it, but most of it. Well, some of it.

<Insert clever title>

Posted on September 12, 2010 at 10:29 PM Comments comments (2)

What does one do when they are getting married in just under 20 days!?!? 

They fantasize about married life with their honey. They imagine themselves staring at their doubled-up ring all the time. --ok, not all the time because they are going to be really good and focused on school but...you get the idea. 


Has anyone noticed that Martha Stewart is making 10 times more cash than she did before the insider trading debacle?


Yesterday I had a oddly tough time watching the September 11th program thing. I came in from seeing Toy Story 3 and as soon as I looked at the tv I literally (really) got weak in the knees. I instantly flashed back to that morning. I pulled into the parking lot at work listening to the radio reports that there had been a plane crash in NY. Thoughts were along the lines of, "Wow, that's messed up." and "I mean, the towers are tall, but how in the hell does a plane run into one?!" I went inside and everyone was in the break room watching the news. And then...THEN, I watched the television, wide-eyed, as the other plane crashed into the tower. I was afraid. I knew there was no way there were TWO accidental plane crashes, 20 minutes apart. And when the towers collapsed, oh my goodness. That was a terrifying moment. I (of course) worked like 10 minutes away from home. The kids were home with their dad and I wanted nothing more but to go home and hug my babies. Watching yesterday evoked similar emotion. It's hard to believe it's been 9 years. And I remind myself that God's plan (no matter whether we understand it or not) is always perfect.


I inadvertently bought fat-free coffee creamer last time. I came to the realization today after having some issues. My body doesn't like fake sugar. Weird things happen to me and it's not comfortable at all. I refuse to eat aspartame and sucralose especially. I wish I could escape high fructose corn syrup but that seems near impossible without quadrupling our grocery bill by going organic. I promise, as a chemical engineer, that I will not engineer some odd, likely toxic chemical to help some company make oogads of money while concurrently wrecking the general population in some way. 


Posted on September 12, 2010 at 12:25 AM Comments comments (2)

I haven't blogged in who knows how long. So, its best to make a list :) And, I'm counting down! I'm going to try to post once a day until THEE day, we'll see.


1) School started this week. I heart my Prof for my Chem E course. He chose a textbook and lo & behold - he actually teaches from the book! Its a friggin miracle!! I know what's going on!

2) My Prof for Orgo has a weird accent. I don't know what she's saying sometimes. Plus, the class is in the new ($7.5 Million) building and I think the lecture hall is laid out very weirdly. Its "long". Much better to have a "shorter" room with theater style seating. So, the whiteboard stretches like 50 ft across the room!

3) I'm not going to like MatLab

4) Biology of Sex is too off the chain. Plus, its still bio. I hate bio. And I'm the only brown person in my lab section. There aren't even any Asians, etc! A whole bunch of 19 year old white kids named MacKenzie & Justin...

5) Calc. Oh boy. Why someone would like to learn calculus with a whole bunch of variables is beyond me. What's wrong with one? Single variable calc is a PITA. And the prof is a psychopath.

6) I hate being a hairy monster-type lady. Its not fair. My mom isn't hairy...hell, my dad isn't! But I do remember my mom's mom ALWAYS carrying a razor with her and randomly shaving; I feel her pain. But then...I guess things could be worse. I'd rather be hairy than stupid. I mean, right?? I'm thinking it'd be a helluva lot worse to be dumb. I dunno...

7) My stomach hurts. Today I had coffee, a big ass asiago cheese bagel, some peanut m&m's, popcorn, and a handful of fries from McDonald's. This is the second day I had no real food. Now I'm eyeballing this soda-water mix with the evil eye.

8 ) MJ did awesome at his game today. He got kicked or something in the chest, and I was about ready to clothesline a 10 year old, but he was ok. He played well and he scored the winning TD. Take that Orono! (They totally didn't play St. Louis Park...)

9) Today, the movie theatre guy looked at Shakese as he asked "both kids under 12?". HELL yes! I'm not paying $9 for her!

10) I'm getting married in like a few weeks! Oh my friggin goodness! Wooooohooooooooo!!!

11)Wedding planning is not for me. I like planning (some). I like when people do what they should do. So I don't like planning stuff that I can't control. And people are retarded. And I hope I don't make a dash to the Hennepin County District court in the next few days.

12) I have awesome friends. And they're very prettiful too!

Spontaneous Combustion

Posted on August 9, 2010 at 10:09 PM Comments comments (1)

Don't ask...ok...from the first time I learned the term & what it meant, I was fascinated. 

Anyway, I've spontaneously cried like 7 times. I hate estrogen. Eve is a witch. There's no good reason for a somewhat reasonable woman to become a retarded mound of mangled emotions nearly EVERY 28 days. Stupid as hell.


I've come up with several fun (at least to me), cute (at least to me), ideas for the wedding. And most for the cost of paper & ink. Ok, so ink isn't cheap, but still. When I started the wedding planning, it was a shock to find out the prices people pay for things. So then it came to be all about the craftiness of it all. Its not "oh, I *have* to do that" its "oh, that's going to be FUN to make!" :) I love being creative and it's one of the things that has been severely stifled since I've been a mom. Hey, I'm not blaming the kids, just that what you WANT to do and what you NEED to do really don't add up MOST of the time (which is probably true of adulthood period)...

And I like having fun! I don't have a stuffy bone in my body & there's no way I could pull of a formal wedding ;-) I'm excited!


I've been meaning to blog about all the celebs that I dislike. Leading the list, through no fault of her own, is Zoe Saldana. I liked her when she first debuted. I don't think she's a bad actress (though she's starting to become Jen Aniston). But I'm so annoyed that she's the IT "black actress". Her ass isn't black! I love my latino/a peoples but maaaaan. She's gotten a ton of roles cast for a black woman. May we please put a black woman in SOME of these roles?!??

Jen Aniston? Please. Stop. If I see one more whiny-ass date movie starring her, I'm going to slit my wrists. Gabrielle Union - ugh.

Jennifer Love Hewitt has a big ass forhead and is generally irritating.

Tom Cruise dude, you're a leprechaun.

Ben Affleck, I will jump off a bridge before I watch a movie with him in it.

I know there are many more but that's it...for now...


Posted on July 22, 2010 at 12:13 AM Comments comments (2)

Not that kind...

Today, I was all set (or so I thought) to do some sort of chop on my hair. But like many other times, I was under the spell of it's short-term cooperativeness. It's freshly relaxed, and I don't hate it. But I knew that the bad feelings would return. Especially when I ran my fingers through it -well, almost- and it tangled; a direct result of many split ends. My hair is verrrrrry fine so damage shows quite clearly. Well, I got to MasterCuts and ended up telling her to cut away the damaged hair but retain as much length as possible. I've become attached to my hair. This is very likely because I'm lazy and it's ponytail/bun length. I like ponytails and buns. Once upon a time, I had this elusive thing called free time, and I'd actually do my hair, go to the salon, etc (oh, let's not forgive the ever diminishing, and probably fake all along, extra money).  Anyway, I'm glad I did it.



I don't know why Webs isn't allowing me to resize the pics...I always resize the pics. And I hate trying to use iPhoto to do it because I always have to re-figure out the damn thing so...anyway...

Definitely 'scragglier" before. And now it looks much fuller and thicker and healthier. I think I lost like 4-5 inches in the back to make me not have a mullet, but it was worth it. And I let her put a few layers in. People often mistakenly think fine-haired folks should get lots of layers. But for me it just ends up looking real bare. I'm looking forward to my next roller set, it ought to be pretty. oooooh, and the black rinse. SHINY!

edited to add: I love tank tops. I think I own like 30 tank tops...

My adventures in wedding planning

Posted on July 19, 2010 at 5:46 PM Comments comments (5)

Today I came up with a big ass list of things that need to be completed by October 2nd. In my head there were like 12 things; on paper there are like 72 things. And even though my handsome fiancé enjoys making biiiiig fun of me, I really need to knock some of this stuff off the list. A lot is weighed towards the end. A lot depends on how many people are there and who those people are. Other things are less vital but can be done and put away, so why not take care of them?? Plus, I'll be less free come September 7th. I have to find a way to stay focused on everything. My class schedule is pretty tight this fall & I can't afford to screw up. I'm on probation from Spring. My plan worked 1/2 as well as I wanted. I got 2 B's but I bombed the other two classes. There's NO room for that. My financial aid package sucks ass & I'll probably be on the hook for some tuition this year :( I need to get some scholarships man!

So anyway, back to wedding planning. Flowers. I've looked at tons of silks and none really make me happy. Except this hydrangeas I bought for decorating the head table. They're really pretty & don't look fake, especially in a vase. But otherwise its going to be real flowers for the bouquet, bouttonnieres (sp?), corsages, etc. I am HOPING that farmers market is still happening around that time in Asheville (I need to make some calls). Plan B calls for a Sam's or Costco membership. One of them has a nice array of white flowers for like $90. I don't really want to spend $90 but I mean...we'll see. And, I've heard that Super Wal-Mart has a nice floral section as well. I've practiced making bouttonneires (I swear that's wrong AND I don't know how to say it...) twice using silks and I think I'm good enough to do them myself. I'll practice corsages for the girls as well. Maybe make a pretty flower pin they can wear in their hair...but I'd better not go too overboard on the girly with Kese. Makayla will suck it up. Flowers. Tiaras. Sparkly. She'd love it ALL :)


a messageboard I stalk - I mean follow - has great tips and ideas and how-to's. But there's also rampant foolishness. Like the woman who said their stationery costs $2K total. Excuse me, but, TWO mother-effin THOUSAND US DOLLARS on paper?!?? WTF? I sure hope they're having 2000 guests or something...

Hmmm, and then there's the lady that is doubting if this guy is a good photog because he *only* charges $500 for wedding coverage. Assholes and their belief that higher cost = higher value...screwing everything up.

Oh, another good one, a lady posted concerned that their venue isn't going to look expensive enough. She wants people to lament that the venue *looks* expensive. Oh, after she got blasted she changed it to "it costs a lot and they just want their moneys worth" but we know the truth... And a clincher, the bride who's afraid that her overweight sis-in-law, who is a bridesmaid, is going to "mess up" her pictures. I wanted to find her and stick a pencil in her eye... Yeah. The Groom thinks I'm going to have a bridezilla moment at some point. I doubt it. But, until then we'll have fun with the teasing :)

Respondez s'il vous plait

Posted on July 13, 2010 at 10:08 AM Comments comments (5)

Respond if you please...Please respond...Tell me whether or not you are coming!!!!!

I have a couple of wedding related sites that I stalk. Martha Stewart has awesome tips :-p But, when I saw the many complaints surrounding rsvp's, I couldn't believe it. I couldn't be convinced that something so simple as "yes or no" could get so complicated.

Let me backtrack a bit. I understand that people have to check schedules, account for kids, or a spouse unable to travel, or pets, etc. I understand that the wedding isn't the center of the guests' life; however (you saw that coming), people don't usually request a response by, like tomorrow. Usually it's weeks out. Presumably, if you're invited, you're aware of things even before you receive an invite (not always but sometimes). And then, some of these brides & grooms even CALL people after the rsvp date has come & gone to ask if they're coming! And some still don't give a straight answer or never respond! And some people actually show up without ever having responded! What?!?

This will not be a good look for anyone on October 2nd. Really. No rsvp, no go. We've had someone respond via my mom (never mind the self-addressed stamped envelope we included -- I want my $.44 back). She also invited a guest with her. Errr, no. Someone else wants to bring their boyfriend who wasn't invited. Others are confused by the "click on the link" part :( 

***Mama is excused. LOL!!!! Today she sent a 4 sentence email instead of responding online. Friggin hilarious! And still others have responded online without incident or mailed their response card back. This will be an interesting month.

In other news, I'm really looking forward to taco's later (is that wrong considering its 9 am?). And to seeing A Streetcar Named Desire tomorrow at the Guthrie! Wooohoooo!!!!

Too many feelings

Posted on July 5, 2010 at 11:29 PM Comments comments (2)

Its hard to believe 4 days passed since that last post. Sheesh. Saturday was wedding shopping extravaganza. Well, so was Sunday & Monday. Saturday we left home at 10 am and returned around 9 pm. Today we left at 9 am and came back at like 2 pm. I've been to JoAnn's like 4 times and to Michael's like 9 times. We went to Men's Warehouse twice. We got dresses for the girls (at a really good price (final sale) BUT I screwed up and picked up the wrong size which, hopefully the alterations lady is a beast and can make them fit. We got his wedding band. Stationery for the programs. 7413 yards of ribbon. All sorts of stuff. And I FINALLY got the invites done. They're going out tomorrow.


Other stuff...Last night, my friend lost her 16 year old son to a random shooting. There was a crowd of kids gathered shooting off fireworks. A car did a random drive by and he got shot in the chest. 16. A great kid. No gangs, drugs, foolishness. And he's dead. I don't understand how a mom is supposed to hold a funeral for her little boy. I don't know how a mom us supposed to go into her son's room and know he's never coming back. I really don't know how the hell you cope. What happens on future 4th of July's? That's going to be a tough funeral for me. I've only been to 2 funerals of people close enough to me for me to feel pain. I'm kind of scared. I have a lot of feelings right now and I'm not accustomed to feeling this way. :-/

What sort of person calls themself a blogger...

Posted on July 1, 2010 at 11:11 PM Comments comments (1)

And allows nearly a month to go by without doing so?! I can't believe it's been that long! There's too much stuff to go through at this point...so hilights - letsgo!

  • I love the kids. All of em. They are smart and personable and good kids. However, Xcel Energy sent this bill in the mail for $116.04. I can't understand why I would ever pay Xcel Energy $116.04. The prior two months it was around $40. Damn kids.
  • I have my wedding gown!!! WOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! I didn't try it on because I've only lost like 3lbs but it's also 'that time' and I really gain like 5 or 6 lbs of water weight and so uhmm, yeah. I didn't want to be depressed. I'm not touching the thing until I a) by my undergarment. Hopefully a comfy long-line bra/bustier/corset thing and b) until after I'm past the uber bloated stage. It's friggin gorgeous!
  • Something strange happened with my BOA debit card today. I am usually very dilligent about using my card, etc because I've been hacked before. The only places I've used the thing recently was placing orders on Etsy.com and USPS.com (USPS has cool wedding stamps - because of course our invite is like 1.4 oz or something and needs additional postage. They have wedding bands for the $.44 stamp but the $.17 stamp is a ram. A blue ram. WTF?). Where was I? Oh. So, then I get a call from a random number in Syracuse, NY saying there's "suspicious" activity on my account. I call BOA and all seemed well until he asked me for my full check card number. Not terrible, but if I just gave you my checking account number, why do you need the bankcard number? When I wouldn't provide that he committed the ultimate sin; he asked for my SSN. The only place I give my full SSN to over the phone is the IRS. I hung up on him and then received a text message telling me to call another random number right away. All ended well, but it was kinda freaky.
  • We love our kids; I'm for real, we do. But they had to go. Really, they did. We left Mpls at 3:45 p.m. on Friday and after driving one million miles with stops in Chicago and KY, we arrived in Charlotte on Saturday at about 3:30 p.m. (central) - 24 hour trip. We left Charlotte at about 12:15 p.m. (central) and after driving one million more miles with stops in Candler (near Asheville) and Lake Junaluska, we arrived home at about 10:00 a.m. Sunday. That was an ignorant ass trip. But it served its purpose.
  • Speaking of...we ordered our wedding cake! I love the southern (nice) people. Waynette of 'Sweet Promises' bakery is making us a yummy delicious cake. Mike was on it with THAT appointment! LOL!!!! I like cake. I'm convinced we should go on cake tastings every other week. YUM! Her prices were extremely reasonable (very competitive), the cake was insanely tasty, the only hang up is that by the time I contacted her she had a cake scheduled that day. So she can't deliver. But we're working that out.


  • We went by Lake Junaluska!! :drool: It really is a beautiful site. They do have some issues with certain places being stuck in 1960. They need some upgrades. But The Colonnade is gawjusss!!! Oh, wait! They have tricky photog!! That's why I knew we had to get down there! Down by the lake is amazing. However they don't make it easy to see that facing the Colonnade...right where they took the pic...is the road! That's going to blow if there's a lot of street traffic. 
  • This weekend we've got a lot of stuff to get done. And (very exciting!!) we're going to try to find Mike's band. I'm so excited! And I've totally been good about not trying mine on!
  • The Dollar Tree rocks! I want to try to make the butonnaire (how in the hell do you pronounce that?!/ Shakese!!!!!!!). I'm going to practice on some bootleg silks. But they had the floral tape and wire. The tape was $1 at WM but the wire was $2 so we done good. I got some simple cylinder vases as the begining of centerpieces. And 8 yds of 6" wide tulle! For a dollar!! At JoAnn, the 6" (really it was 5.75" I think) but it was $5.99 and was 25 yds. So we got 24 yds for 3 bucks! I like that!! I have my eye set on a specific ribbon and WM didn't have it. I'm going to price compare JoAnn and Michael's. Plus I just got a 15% off everything at Michaels! wooohooo! I think I'll use my off day on Monday to be crafty.
  • I'm thinking about programs (shhhh don't tell my handsome groom!). I have an idea and I really think we can do them for under $15 plus ink. I have to price it and then present my case :)
  • Hmmm...I love my almost husband. A very lot. :-D

MY BIRTHDAY IS IN 5 DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Posted on June 6, 2010 at 12:01 AM Comments comments (7)

I can't begin to recap anything since I last blogged. Although I have a blog to post about my expanded family, not tonight. Its almost past my bedtime which means deliriousness is coming - soon.

I've killed my hair; I have to get a haircut. I've killed my hair about 713 times in the almost 20 years that I've been messing with it. And luckily, it always grows back. I started this challenge of growing it out (all personal, all a challenge against myself). I, like the average black woman, had been conditioned to believe that you *need* a relaxer every 4-6 weeks when 1) my hair is very fine and really doesn't get too "nappy" except for this patch in the center...that's my soul patch...it gets THICK up in there. 2) my hair actually grows quite slowly and I can easily (without mattiness) go a good 10-12 weeks without needing a touch-up. So, I falsely believed, for many years, that my hair "couldn't" grow. Well, I realized that's ridiculous. Unless you have some medical issue, your hair grows. It's what you do to it once it sprouts that determines if you KEEP it on your head. So, I went with all wet sets and only occasional blow drys. If I wanted to wear it straight I only flat ironed it that first day. The rest of the days I had to make do. Since my hair is fine, it gets greasy quickly and I have to shampoo it every few days. I was on my 4 day schedule for washing and my hair was full and shiny and I loved it. Well, I got lazy and started to let longer amounts of times pass before I shampooed...I was flat ironing in between washes...and I wasn't getting any trims at all. I got a few inches lobbed off and was hoping all was well. BUT, I got lazy again and for a good two months, I was washing, blow drying, and flat ironing once a week. And *poof* my hair is wrecked. The soul patch? Total breakage. Partially due to going so long without a relaxer and then all the manipulation on the dry(er) hair and yuck. My bangs are like 2 inches shorter and not due to any trims :(

I need to let a lot of it go. That doesn't really bother me...its only hair. But I hate to have to "do" my hair and love that I can put it up and away all the time. That's going to stop for awhile (sadface). I love, love, love this haircut. Mike couldn't get past the white/blonde to just looking at the hair. The hair itself is cool. It's a lot of length gone but not resulting in a *short* haircut (as most black women define short).

Foolishness? I got a B in Organic Chem which is awesome. I got a B- in Calc 3 which pissed me off but is still pretty awesome. I had such huge focus on those two and PChem was a b*tch...I got a D. D! Yep. I have to retake it. But not this semester coming up. I have no energy for it. If only I coulda got a C-. Oh, and I failed history. WHO fails history?!? But, the prof claims he never got my 2nd paper. The class had 2 papers and a final. I unwisely assumed that the final carried more weight but no! Each paper was worth 1/3 of the grade. I skipped the first one being lazy and then he said I only got a C+ on the final. I'm a loser. When he's back in July we'll talk about paper 2. I don't give a damn if he gives me a D...as long as I don't fail. For libed courses, a D is satisfactory. For courses in my major I need to earn at least a C-. AARRRRGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

My dress will be here next week. I'm uber excited donchaknow. I think I weigh about the same as I did when I decided on it. But I was getting my eyebrows done today :-D

I totally took this picture immediately after typing the sentence and emailed it to myself to upload. I am a bonafied nerd.

Anyways...as I was going in I saw this really cool strapless bra/shaper thing and decided to try it on when I was done. I don't like shaping garments. I always feel LUMPIER (more lumpy?) with a shaping garment on. At first I was thinking...how would I know? But I had on a pretty fitted shirt and figured I'd just try it on under that. Makes sense; right? Well, after nearly breaking my arm to do the snaps and being utterly disgusted by the lumpy figure staring back at me in the mirror, I think it does make a slight difference and creates more of a waistline. But I don't know if it's worth 48 of my hard earned dollars. Hmmmm...



Soo. Uhmm, yeah. It depends on a) if I look lumpy in my dress b) if by the time I take it in for alterations I'm *still* lumpy.

I was going to watch Single White Female tonight but I'm kinda sleepy and I'll just watch Juno.