Rantings of a Single Mom

The joys, fears and most importantly - Rants of a single mother!

My rantings

I'm getting married tomorrow

Posted on October 1, 2010 at 11:36 AM Comments comments (1)
We picked up our marriage license. It was all very quick & painless. Fill out this 1/2 sheet of paper. I'm going to read back what you wrote. I'm going to make a big deal out of characters that aren't perfectly written. I'm going to seat you at the sticky table and come back 7 minutes later with all the same info you just completed -- printed on a green sheet of paper. I'm then going to copy said green sheet, twice, and have you both sign. Bam. Its done. But someone needs to tell me what the $60 is FOR?!? In MN its like a buck 25 and I can't figure out why it costs $125 to get married...I digress. We're getting married!!!!!!!!!!!! In front of our family & friends; we make all sorts of warm & gooey promises to each other. Plus, we get to kiss AND eat cake! This rocks!!

I am very sleepy

Posted on September 14, 2010 at 12:08 AM Comments comments (2)

Today I had class until 4:30. Got to the park & ride at a little after 5. Mike and the kids picked me up after attending Shakese's parent meeting for tennis. We headed to Wayzata for MJ's game. They lost terribly - first time they've been shut out in the 3 years they've played. Wayzata's players are all on steroids and MJ made a helluva block early on; but he got hurt and checked out. He missed some really good tackles and got scored on twice because of it. Then home to do homework.

Tomorrow I have class until 2:15 and then Shakese has a tennis match at 3:15 and then MJ has football practice at 6 and then I have to be in Woodbury (40 minutes away) for my dress fitting at 7:30. 

Did I mention that I am sleepy?

And, I hate my calc prof. He doesn't lecture about anything. He's so random. But, there are only 2 lectures this semester and I can't take the other one because of my Bio lab. And I hate bio. I thought talking about sex would make it palatable (LOL!) but it doesn't. It's still biology and biology is stupid. Well, not all of it, but most of it. Well, some of it.

I'm a loser!

Posted on May 16, 2010 at 9:58 AM Comments comments (3)

It's been a full 10 days since I blogged and we all know there is NO way that I can remembered what has transpired in 10 days! So we'll work backwards.

I have a B- in calculus. That is depressing. Ok, not depressing but it does make me sad. I had an A-/B+ average before the final. So I may have did sucky. If so, it's my own fault. I was being too cocky about Calc and overly focused on Ochem. Plus, the math department is stupid. They change the curve around however they see fit...the Chemistry department is more consistent and more generous. With that said, I think I have a B- in Ochem also. But stupid ole Onestop is down for maintenance until 1:00. Don't they know I'm stalking for my final grades!?!? Towards the end of the week, I was suffering with a) being sick - like majorly sick with wheezing and stuff b) cramps and pms. So, during the PChem final I got all pissed because 2 of the problems were EXACTLY the same as the last year's final. I looked at them but didn't LOOK at them. And guess what?? I started crying. I'm glad I had on a hat and had already been blowing my bugger nose the whole time or else it would have been really troubling! I know it was the pms, fatigue and general crankiness, but still. If I have to retake that class I'm going to be very very angry. All I need is a C-...

I got into the REU program (Research Experience for Undergraduates), that's hosted by the National Science Foundation at different colleges & universities around the country. I didn't even apply!! But the professor that I worked for this semester has all sorts of clout and got me in part time. And it's PAID! Not as nicely as this semester's work was but still...$2000 for 10 weeks of work; at 20 hours a week. Can we say wedding fund?

Last summer, after my position was cancelled (??) I wasn't fired or laid off...just told that Allison changed her mind and wanted to work full time (HUH?). Anyway, after that, I decided to be a lazy bum all summer. This summer I know that I have to work. We have too much going on and I can't afford to slack. Last week the temp agency (I'm like their golden child...I just go out on jobs, I never have to interview or anything anymore so I love them), called me like 3 times. I kept telling them I couldn't work because of finals but I'd be available next week. Now, watch....WATCH they don't have anything next week. Bastards. I guess I wasn't a good candidate for DSW. Maybe they knew there was no way in hell I'd really stay and work there...just enough over the summer to get a little extra cash and a lot of extra shoes. :(

My dress is coming!!! WOOOHOOOOO!!!!! They have an expected date of "end of August". They can give me a more exact date in 2 weeks once the manufacturer confirms. I'm excited!!! I's gettng married for real now! ;-) I love my dress. It's so pretty and sweet and sexy all in one. It's so ME! I have wedding invitations, and thank you's,  and bubbles. I have two 50% coupons now for Michael's so I have to be ready to get something next week! Can't be letting coupons go to waste!  I was scoping out the rolls of tulle. That might be a good bet for decorating the columns and/or other randomness. We're not doing programs and I'm still on the fence about favors. So, we'll see what I can find to use the coupons on!

A friend of mine went with me to try on the dress. She seemed a little slighted when I said I had a maid of honor. Then in the car she said she wouldn't make a good maid of honor. Well, I know that. That's why I didn't ask. She's great and we've never fell out or had any issues...we just aren't as close as we used to be. But hopefully we can hang out more this summer; we'll see.

Oh, back to the dress, the sample was a 12. The first time I tried it on I had on more of a corset type strapless bra-the dress zipped all the way.  And this time I had on a bulkier strapless and she couldn't zip it all the way. She meausured me and said my bust measurement puts me at a 16. I gave her the "are you retarded?" face. The dress I have on is a 12. She didn't say 14...she said 16. I'm telling her, 2 days ago, with a different bra, the dress was able to zip. I'm not going to buy a dress TWO SIZES LARGER. So then she starts in about how bridal runs small. Lady, I don't care about what size it is! If the 20 fits I'll get a 20. But the damn 12 fits. Ugh. It's a ploy for money. Talk you into a big ass dress and you need 1-billllll-ion dollars worth of alterations done. No thank you. Through a message board I noticed a poster in St. Paul and messaged her for a seamstress recommendation and also got a recommendation from a friend. Should cost at least 1/2 that of what the bridal shop charges.

Other than that....

139 days!

Life as a fianc?e

Posted on April 9, 2010 at 10:20 AM Comments comments (1)

Ok, so the only difference is that I get to stare at my ring and call him my fiancé! :-) Many months ago, I would stare at him sometimes and say to myself "he's going to be my husband". The first time it happened was a little unnerving; I didn't really *think* about it, the thought just popped in my head while I was staring at his picture. We've been discussing marriage for quite awhile and our wedding for a bit too. And all I know for sure is fall (my favorite season) and outdoors (amongst the pretty leaves & scenery). So, I took off with planning because...some people reserve venues for MONTHS and in some cases a year, year and a half ahead of their date. What I'm finding is A) people are crazy as hell. I am NOT paying you 2, 5, 10 grand to rent your space! I am not paying you $30 or $40 per person for food. B) Wedding planning is not my thing. I get frustrated quickly and I keep going in circles. C) Somebody is going to get cussed out and/or get their feelings hurt. LOL!! I just want to MARRY HIM already! Oh, and I do want a pretty dress (but I'll be damned if I spend anything close to 4 digits on it!). Tomorrow, Shakese and I are hitting this bridal salon downtown with lunch after at Panera. Should be a blast! :-)


Posted on March 12, 2010 at 11:28 PM Comments comments (7)

One day, Bek mentioned making some yummy deliciousness that was jumbo stuffed shells. I had her send me the recipe. It was many many months before I attempted to make them, and when I finally did, I did so with crab cakes -- all first time recipes. It was a good dinner, but I knew I could do better. (I like to do better. As a matter of fact, I think I can do better at everything, all the time). Tonight, I made a peppercorn pork tenderloin and it was cooked to perfection! I also made the shells again and boy-oh-boy!!!! They were sooooo good!!! When I made the crabcakes, my baby got hooked on the sauce I made to go with them. He discovered the sauce and shells were excellent together. And really, he thinks the sauce is good on all things in the vicinity of the sauce on his plate. I was so stuffed but could only think about getting just another taste. Yummmmmm!

Today, I stopped at Cub and walked past the floral section. I was instantly reminded of childhood and my mom. She would bring flowers for my sister and I every payday. I was always so excited for those Friday's and to see what she came up with. I think I'm going to try to do the same with Kese. I got her a super-colorful bunch too. It suits her personality. We decided we would do a minimum of 1 hour a day, 3 days of week of pure mama/daughter time. Like playing with the Harumika dolls (super fun), playing Rock Band, doing artisitc things, etc. Tomorrow, we're going to do a project. She wants to stain a piece of wood - why not!? We'll go to Michael's and grab something and hit Menard's for some stain.

Tomorrow, we're going to the fake community center. It's kind of a separate structure that the Hopkins High School uses for their gym, etc. But, they have the courts, the track, and a weight room. And as a college student, I get an annual membership for $32. That is definitely in our budget! I'm going to start working out Tuesday and Thursday mornings plus either Saturday or Sunday. Maybe a little on both, who knows, depends on how our weekend shapes up. I will also be back on my yoga/pilates tip. Yoga & Pilates is the truth!.

Oh yeah, the kids are starting swimming lessons on Sunday. 9 weeks of lessons, for free. I find ways man...The director of the student parent center at school wrote a fabulous letter of recommendation for me. Full scholarships on the fee. I like it. Shakese has to start at the beginners level...she will probably be in there with a bunch of 4 year olds. I hope she gives it a real chance. MJ is a couple levels above her. He's not afraid of the water (she is), plus he can do some basic stuff; he just can't do any sustained swimming. He needs to learn technique and form.

There's been some family stuff going on and as usual, I'm the go-to. I *don't* mind it...as much...I just get agitated when, I get all these calls and messages about what's going on with everybody else. A "how are you" here and there would be kinda nice.


Uhmm, yeah. I've been waiting for Spring Break since January 23rd or so...(the semester began Jan 20th). However, as much as I love my hooligan kids, I was really not happy to see that they are out of school the Thursday/Friday that ends my spring break. :-/ Scam. I want my money back...

Super Speedy Weekends...

Posted on March 8, 2010 at 4:37 PM Comments comments (5)

This weekend was as crazy as I expected; and as expected, I was expecting far too much from myself.


I honestly can't recall Friday. I just don't know what happened on Friday; it was a long time ago.

Saturday morning Shakese had a sort of mini-tourney for basketball. She had to be there at 8:30 with games from 9 - 10:30. ::snooze:: She is hilarious. She walks flat-footed, like a duck. Well, that's how she was running the court too. :) It was cute and fun.


Ooh! I just remembered part of Friday! I had to go talk with Kese's teacher. Shakese doesn't like her, which is fine, but she needs to understand that not liking her doesn't mean she can disrespect her. Shakese is a true Virgo. She is patient and helpful with people who she views as uncapable or unable. BUT, if you don't know or aren't doing what she thinks you SHOULD know how to do?! Its a wrap! She has zero tolerance for you. Her teacher is a scatterbrain. She's very disorganized. I know Shakese; this means she wrote her off immediately...'You're the teacher, you're supposed to have it together'. So we talked through everything, I tried to put it in the context of surviving the next 3 months...while also reminding her that come 7th grade, she's going to be dealing with easily 6-8 teachers a day and I can guarantee she won't like them all. We'll see how it goes.


Soooo what else? Oh, my nieces & nephew were supposed to stay over Saturday night but didn't make it. My sister and the two youngest came over Sunday morning and we all hung out. Mehki tried to eat all of our fruit. He took a bag of chips and dumped them on the carpet, and proceeded to pick up handfuls of chips to enjoy.

Same with the fruitloops. Having them in a baggie was too much I suppose, he dumped them out and ate them off the floor. Toddlers are nasty. LOL!


Both kids had tryouts for softball/baseball on Sunday. MJ has 2 more times to go so I skipped his. Both of these guys are athletes. We're going to assume that came from Papa & Uncle because neither their father nor I have any athletic ability. I'm excited for Kese to try some sports. Not to negate her interest in the arts; I value those the same. But the comraderie & flexibility required for team sports is important. Plus, there's more scholarship oppurtunity. She's multi-talented, let's take advantage man!


Ooh! I remembered something else about Friday - I let Crystal @MasterCuts give me a trim. I took about 1 1/2 inches off the back and1/2 inch or so off the sides. I need to get back on my game; I have massive breakage around my hairline - ugh!! The trim was step #1.


Right now I'm sitting in front of the vacuum oven:



My sample is at 500 milli-torr (pressure in the vacuum oven). When it reaches 300 I can go home! Woooohoooooo! I like acetone vs dichloromethane as a cosolvent; it vaporizes MUCH faster :)


Posted on February 10, 2010 at 9:49 PM Comments comments (2)

Today was an eventful day. I was just about a half a second away from caving MJ's little chest in. Let him stomp up my stairs again...if I can make it up without noise I know a little 80lb boy can. Damn kids.

Today I learned some valuable lessons. We all think we know certain things to be true; however:

1) Its not always what you say but how you say it.

2) Perception is reality; Often times your intent is irrelevant.

3) Communication is essential, and so often the non-verbal communication outweighs anything that comes out of your mouth.

Lesson(s) learned. This is what growth is all about. You have to experience certain things so that you can learn from them. So, although the experience wasn't exactly pleasant, the outcome is more than I could've hoped for. And now that I know better, I can do better.

Merry Christmas!!!

Posted on December 25, 2009 at 9:24 PM Comments comments (2)

The kids tried convincing me to let them wake up at 5. I said no, but I knew they'd never be up that early. I was up about 45 minutes before them; they got up at 8:35 :)


They were excited with the gifts they got. And in their abnormalness, they took turns opening gifts and then stacked the wrapping paper in a pile after each gift. The kids got me cool jewelry sets with a necklace & earrings. Rebecca gave me some bubble bath that smells divine! My bro got me a picture frame with a message about sisters. Mehki got 113 balls for Christmas; basketballs, footballs, baseballs, plain balls. He's happy. And he's terrorizing everyone else's presents.


My new hat!



I was trying not to be sad that I couldn't be with my baby. It has gotten more & more difficult as the day progresses. Wow. I've never missed anyone so much.


The kids talked to their father today, briefly. I told him to call them. I shouldn't have done that. I should've just let it be; if he called he called and if not...


I have a few more folks to call today and plus, I'm getting hungry!

Its that time

Posted on December 24, 2009 at 8:04 PM Comments comments (2)

Its Christmas Eve. As you well know, I have been studying and giving no focus to the impending holiday. A comedienne I follow on Twitter said, "2000 yrs ago, a savior was born, and because of that I am at Home Depot buying my father a drill" :-) I really loved that tweet.


I am not passing judgement; I spent many years, like many other Americans, caught up in the commercialism of the day. Buying and buying and buying. Insanity. Even if one doesn't necessarily identify as Christian, still, the day should be about love, sharing, and giving. And you don't have to spend tons of money to give. Time, effort, etc are important and necessary. Another first without my parents. Usually, the'd get up Christmas morning, head to one of my siblings', hang out, and on to the next place, with everyone ending up at my house for breakfast. Its okay. The kids and I are going to head over to my sisters after they open their presents. We'll hang with them for most of the day and then back home. I'm going to text baby bro now to see if he's going to come over. I have one gift already! MJ's big brother bought me a Snuggie!!!!!!! And its a U of MN Snuggie!!!!! I'm wearing it now, sitting in my papasan chair, watching Angels & Demons. :) Shakese's big sister took them out last weekend and they both bought me something. I'm excited :-) MJ is always so thrilled to watch me open his gifts!


Also, we were adopted again this year through the student parent center at school. They gave me $100 gift card to Target, which I used to shop for the kids. Aside from that, I spent maybe $60. I wanted to get them RockBand for Wii but that wasn't in the budget. Soon though. I love that game!! From the adopt-a-family I have warm angora socks YAY ME!!! And a shirt that looks possibly too small (I blame the finals week carbo overload!) And I bought myself a super cute hat. Not a winter hat but a bad-hair day hat. I'm not able to spend the day with my sweetheart, but I'm working not to be down about it. I know we'll have many many more holidays together. ((this post has gotten looong!))


Ooh, and I am really looking forward to my December 31, 2009 blog entry, very excited about the possibilities of 2010! Can't wait!!


Posted on November 24, 2009 at 7:02 PM Comments comments (1)

I made some categories, I tried to keep it to 8 (don't ask why) and ended up adding a 9th one for Angry Thoughts. Let's keep that category to a minimum. I've only tagged a few posts...maybe 25 or so. Ugh. I will definitely be on top of it going forward. Randmoness means my rantings...so that category might stay above the rest :)

I had a very interesting conversation today regarding family and I don't know..."obligation" maybe?? Anyway, if you know me, you know I'm never above learning. I'm never above hearing a point of view different from my own and quite possibly learning from it. In fact, I love to learn. Love it!

I think this was another thing that kind of pushed me into thinking about my role in my family and what that's been for the past 30 years. I think I'm really, really rejecting it now. I've been very aware, not in a keeping tabs sort of way, but just a paying attention sort of way, of so many things in the past year. For one, I think I have reached a point of redifining my immediate family as the kids and me. Whereas before, I did things according to what the original immediate family wanted. I love those guys. Really. I wouldn't trade my family for the world. We've experienced so many joys, triumphs, highs, lows - everything together. But I don't think the old standards work for me anymore. 

I know in every family, everyone has their role that they play. Maybe that's why it all works the way it does. I remember doing a bunch of research once on 'middle child syndrome'. I don't think it's all gospel; but I do think birth order can really be a factor in personality. Only children exhibit certain traits (no comment...this'll turn into an "angry thoughts" post!). Oldest children exhibit certain traits; as do the youngest. I'm not a "true" middle child but with my older siblings being closer in age and then my younger brother, I think it's a fair assessment. One of the major traits of middles is the self reliance. Parents are always, always more absorbed in what the oldest and the youngest is doing. It's understandable, to a point. You experience all of your "firsts" presumably, with the oldest. The youngest needs more attention and more help, etc. The research says that "middles" are often left to fend for themselves leading parents to mistakenly believe that that means they're fine.

This year has really been about breaking out of my "role". I mean...I am who I am but I've grown tired of being everyone's "go-to" without having anyone to go to! Tired of being the shoulder for everyone. Of being the go-between. Of having at least 75% of calls/messages to me not be about me, but something that's going on with someone else; sister, brothers, nieces, nephews, parents. It's not limited to anyone person. I'm just ready for phase II. Family is important to me. I value all that it means, the good and the bad.

I think I'm just ready for SOMETHING to be about ME for a change.